Breastfeeding in the workplace: A positive story

Emma*, 41, returned to work when her second baby was three months old. Prior to returning to work, Emma had been exclusively expressing for three months. Just days before the return-to-work her infant began to breastfeed, so Emma was very eager to continue breastfeeding.  

“It was such a difficult journey to begin with,” Emma says. “My baby was premature, and he couldn’t latch properly. I really wanted to breastfeed (I breastfed my daughter for 15 months), but he just wouldn’t feed. I got to the point where my pumping couldn’t keep up with his needs, and I was sure our journey was about to end. Literally the day I was preparing a bottle of formula he latched. I never did end up giving him that bottle,” she laughs.  

Days later, Emma returned to work.  

“I hadn’t planned on returning to work at three months,” Emma says. “The plan was always to take 12 months, but an untimely redundancy coupled with an amazing new opportunity meant that I returned sooner.” 

At this stage Emma was still committed to five to seven feeds a day.  

“I still had to feed my son three times during the working day when I started working,” she says.  

“Being my second baby – and being someone who has always been fiercely protective of breastfeeding – I was very comfortable starting discussions by putting my son’s needs first,” she says.  

“I realise not everyone is in a position to do that, but if you can have that kind of honest conversation with your employer from the get-go, it definitely makes things easier. 

“I basically said that my work hours needed to fit in around feeding. I work from home, so it was easy to do (again, noting that’s not something everyone can do). In the early days, I was only working one day a week so my Mum would come and watch my son, and I’d break to feed him three times a day. It was actually really lovely. It meant I still got those cuddles and connection that we both really needed, and it made the transition back to work so much easier.” 

It wasn’t always a smooth process, she acknowledges, with the occasional unscheduled chat or meeting eating into feeding times.  

“Again, I was pretty upfront about it. If my son was crying I’d say I needed to jump off and feed him. I remember spending one meeting trying to feed him. He was a little older then, and got too distracted by the heads on the screen to feed. He kept pulling off and laughing, and I didn’t contribute to that call at all. I never tried that again! So I think it’s really about what works for you and your baby. Some babies might be fine to feed while you chat, others (like mine) might need your undivided attention all the time!” 

Dealing with guilt 

Everyone’s heard the term mother’s guilt, but for Emma she says it was ‘worker guilt’ that haunted her.  

“Even with the most understanding employer, I felt guilty when I had to recuse myself from a meeting to feed, or reschedule my day when a long nap messed everything around,” she says. 

“I just felt like they were doing so much for me, the least I could do was give them more dedication,” she says.  

“I don’t really have all the answers when it comes to dealing with guilt,” she admits. “I think all you can do is know that you’re doing the best you can for your family and your employer. And trust that’s enough.” 

Now, Emma is in the final stages of weaning.  

“I just feel really proud of making it this far,” she says. “When my son wouldn’t feed in those early days, when I thought I had to give up, I was so sad. I’d had two bouts of mastitis, I’d pumped through the night, multiple times a night. I’d done everything I could to make it work. Everyone was telling me to quit. For me, it was really important that I be able to breastfeed my son, and I knew my mental health would suffer if I didn’t give it all I had.” 

“Having an employer who understood that, who supported that, was just incredible. I often think about what it would have been like if I’d returned to the employer I had when pregnant, and I can’t hand-on-heart say I would have got the same level of support, and I certainly wouldn’t have had the same level of flexibility. I’d just like employers to know that they really have the power to make a huge difference in a working parent’s journey.” 

Emma’s five top tips for breastfeeding and working 

Be honest with yourself about what you need. Don’t try to do it all if it’s going to stress you out. That could mean giving a bottle occasionally, or saying no to that meeting. It’ll be different for everyone. I think just noticing when you’re feeling uncomfortable is a good way to identify a moment when you might need something else.   

Be prepared to ask for help. In the early days, for me, that meant getting people to come over and watch the baby while I pumped. Later, it sometimes meant asking a colleague to attend a meeting if it clashed with my feeding schedule.  

Ask for flexibility. You’re entitled to it, and knowing you have it will take some of the stress out of the whole process. It won’t get rid of ‘worker guilt’, but it certainly helps! 

Set boundaries. Be really clear on your boundaries, as they work for you. For me, it was less about setting work-boundaries, and more about setting personal ones. I wanted it to be clear when I was working, and when I wasn’t, which isn’t always easy to do when you work from home. So that meant communicating with my Mum and, later, my husband, when I would take a break, and when I was only pausing to feed before going back to work.  

Stop the negative self-talk. It can be really easy to tell yourself you’re not doing enough, or you should be doing more (as a mother or a worker). Give yourself a break, acknowledge the work you’re already putting in, and be proud of that.  
 

_{*Not her real name}