How dads can broach modern parenting approaches with their (perhaps ‘traditional’) employer

Key takeaways

• Make time to talk with your employer about how you'd like to operate as a working parent – remember, if you don't ask, you don't get. 
• Familiarise yourself with your entitlements as a working parent. 
• Think about flexibility. It may give you just what you need at this time. 

It’s fair to say that a lot has changed when it comes to family dynamics over the last few generations.  

Australia’s first maternity leave entitlement was passed in 1973. In 1990 we saw maternity leave entitlements extend to include dad and adoptive parents too.  

It wouldn’t be until 2011 that Paid Parental Leave would become an entitlement for most Australian families, and with that introduction the dynamics of the working family changed further.  

Layer on top of that more flexible workplaces, and higher female workforce participation, and the perceived ‘traditional’ roles of mother and father have been shaken up.  

Dads are now increasingly heavily involved in child-rearing responsibilities, and while this is good news for dads and children alike, it can be challenging to navigate, with many dads lacking the role models from prior generations, and some experiencing conflict from employers who haven’t quite caught up with the evolving role dads can play in the family.  

Talking with your employer  

For some, their employer's ‘traditional’ attitudes can be a real barrier in asking for flexibility, parental leave or the support they need as a new parent. Sometimes dads dismiss the possibility before they even approach their employer because they make the assumptions that their employer will say no. 

It’s important to make the time to have a conversation. You will need to be clear on the outcome you’re looking for, but also be respectful and open to compromise. Adopt an ‘ask don’t assume’ model to the conversation. While you may think you know how they feel about modern parenting, allow the space to hear them out – you may just be surprised. Remember, if you don’t ask you don’t get.  

How to position yourself for the support you need 

• Know your entitlements – if you’ve been working for your employer for 12 months or more before the birth or adoption of the child: 

• You are entitled to up to 12 months’ unpaid leave where you will have responsibility for the care of the child (which can be shared by both parents) and an employer cannot say no to this.  

• You are entitled to Paid Parental Leave Pay. Depending on your circumstances, you could be entitled to up to 22 weeks of Paid Parental Leave Pay, which can be shared between you and your partner. For single parents, you are entitled to the full 22 weeks of Paid Parental Leave Pay. 

• You can also request an additional 24 months of leave, which can only be refused after discussing the request and based on reasonable business grounds.  

• Parents can also take concurrent leave (with both paid and unpaid options) around the time of the child's birth or placement for the other parent. Concurrent leave reduces the total available period of paid and unpaid parental leave.  

•  You are entitled to submit a flexible working request. The company does not have to grant approval for flexible working, but they must be able to show reasonable business grounds for declining such a request. 

• If your company has a policy on parental leave – does it cater only to ‘primary’ carers/mothers? Can you ask for this to incorporate fathers and partners? 

• Give advance notice – you need to give 10 weeks’ notice if you plan to take parental leave unless not practicable, and confirm the intended start and end dates at least four weeks’ before, unless not practicable, but consider informing your employer earlier if possible, for example, if it will have a big impact on the organisation. 

• Be a man with a plan –  think through how you will take leave, the impact on your role, ideas for how the organisation could cover your duties while you’re on leave or working flexibly.  

How getting the support you need will make you a better employee  

The work-life experiences of today’s fathers differ. We’re more hands on than we were even 20-30 years ago, but that doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes experience conflict in balancing our professional and parenting roles.  

Life satisfaction can dip during the transition into parenthood due to work-family conflict. If we’re stressed, under pressure and not coping at home, it can begin to affect us professionally.  

It’s been shown that working flexibly relieves the stress related to work-family conflict. When we work flexibly or remotely we experience a significant increase in perceived happiness compared to those with fixed employment terms. This is especially true for fathers of one- and two-year-old children. 

Research tells us that when we take parental leave and are more involved in our children’s lives, we tend to be happier, more productive, and have better relationships. We can look to overseas countries to see that the flow-on effect of dads being more involved at home makes for happier partners. In Iceland, their divorce rate went down after introducing more paternal leave. And in South Korea, a study showed taking paternity leave is positively associated with life satisfaction for both fathers and mothers.