Are you a working parent trying to conceive? Whether you're mum or dad, here's how to get the support you need

Key takeaways

• Talk with your employer about any accommodations you need at this time so you can get the support you need. 
• Remember, it's OK to feel a wide range of emotions at this time. 

There are many pathways to becoming a parent. Some are smooth, pathed in the finest asphalt, quick, easy, and seamless. Others are rockier. Some may be an almost vertical climb to the top.  

At work, it can be really difficult when going through these journeys. Sometimes it’s lonely, particularly if you haven’t yet shared your journey with your employer. 

How to get support at work  

It’s not easy to have a conversation with your employer about your journey. It’s intensely personal, and you may not know your employer well. It’s essential to get the right support if you can.  

Request accommodations if needed  

If you are undergoing fertility treatments, you and/or your partner will need to attend multiple medical appointments. If you’re in the adoption or surrogacy process, you may need to travel to meet your little one, or go on parental leave at very short notice. Meet with your employer to discuss accommodations which will help you navigate this time, such as flexible working arrangements (e.g. working from home, starting later), or contingency planning should you need to travel or go on leave without much warning.  

After a loss  

According to the Pink Elephants Support Network, 103,000 couples in Australia will report an early pregnancy loss each year, yet 74 per cent of women who suffer a miscarriage report feeling unsupported by those around them, including in the workplace. Dads often get overlooked at this time too, despite also feeling the loss. 

If you or your partner have had a miscarriage or stillbirth, you may be feeling a raft of emotions. It can be hard to know whether or how to inform your workplace. If they didn’t even know you were expecting, you might be wondering whether to tell them at all. 

If your co-workers were aware of the pregnancy, you will need to let them know what has happened.  This is an incredibly difficult time, and many leaders and employers are unprepared for these conversations. It’s ok if this conversation doesn’t go beyond informing them, requesting leave or asking for confidentiality (what you want colleagues to know).  

If your workplace was not yet aware you or your partner were expecting a baby, it can be hard to know whether to tell them what has happened. Often, by disclosing this information, it can open the door to additional support and understanding as you move through the process of grieving. 

For information regarding your legal rights and leave entitlements following a miscarriage of stillbirth, click here. 

The truth about perinatal loss - COPE Campaign from Centre of Perinatal Excellence on Vimeo.

The truth about infertility - COPE campaign from Centre of Perinatal Excellence on Vimeo.

Where to find support for grief and loss from miscarriage, stillbirth and death in infancy 

Red Nose 1300 308 307 – Provides 24-hour support for grieving parents and families who have experienced the death of a baby during pregnancy, birth, infancy or childhood, regardless of cause. Red Nose also has professional counselling, support groups and resources available via Red Nose Grief and Loss. 

Pink Elephants – Provides information and support for women through miscarriage, pregnancy loss and beyond. The group supports women through their grief, nurtures them as they heal and empowers them as they move into the future. There are a number of resources available on their website including useful information about miscarriage stages and support services. 

Adoption and surrogacy support  

Surrogacy Australia – Provides information on finding a surrogate, becoming a surrogate and the surrogacy process on their website. The Australian Government also provides information on the process of engaging an international surrogate. 

Adopt Change Australia – Aims to ensure every child has access to a safe, nurturing and stable family upbringing. Adopt Change provides support and resources for people considering adoption.

You can read more about your rights under the law here.